Posts Tagged ‘Life Design’
034 Mindfulness and Music: Julianna Raye
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Why does being present mean losing oneself? On today’s episode, mindfulness guru Julianna Raye shares an insightful conversation with Christopher. Learn how you can apply your attention in ways to truly make your life effective.
Mindfulness and Being Present
Mindfulness practice entails knowing how to apply your attention through optimal ways. Understanding where to focus one’s attention alleviates even a simple headache. Opening up to the experience as it is happening will help release the pain, even if not always.
It turns out, there are two ways by which you can handle pain. One is to turn towards the pain and directly work with it or to anchor away from it. And it matters to be present in the situation in order to find a way to deal with it.
“I like to define what it means to be present in a way where people can actually understand how to do it—if they wanna do something.” – Julianna Raye on being present
Three Skill States
There are three skill states to consider to achieve mindfulness: concentration, sensory clarity, and equanimity. Julianna says that these are naturally-occurring. And they come up in life all the time, associated with the most fulfilling moments.
“The key is a lot of people don’t know that those heightened states—those skills—you can develop them and then they’re transferrable.” – Julianna Raye
On Concentration
When you achieve concentration, you get to spend more time focusing on what matters to you and less time being pulled into distractions. Nobody succeeds without figuring out how concentration works.
“Concentration is the ability to focus on what you choose.” – Julianna Raye
Christopher says that it’s interesting how you lose yourself in concentration. This means that the more present we are for us, the less alive we are. And the less present that we are, the more alive we are.
“It’s this amazing dichotomy to me that when we lose ourselves the most is when we’re alive the most.” – Christopher Lochhead
To hear more about the other skill states that affect mindfulness from Julianna herself, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Julianna is devoted to deepening people’s understanding of research-supported mindfulness and empowering anyone to guide others in its practice. She has been training individuals and groups in the Unified Mindfulness system for nearly two decades.
Julianna is also a founding member of Brightmind Meditation, LLC—the developer of the Brightmind mindfulness app. She also consults and offers private coaching, onsite and online mindfulness training.
She has had more than 100 weeks of immersive silent retreat training in both the mindfulness and Zen traditions. Through these, she has completed over 12,000 hours of formal practice.
Along the way, she has participated in research including a UCLA study comparing long-term meditator’s brains with those of non-meditators.
She also designed and led the training for a workplace research study carried out under David Creswell, Ph.D. And that study showed positive outcomes with regards to improved employee well being and lower stress.
Links:
We hope you enjoyed Julianna Raye on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
030 Outer Order, Inner Calm w/ Gretchen Rubin
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How do you become happier in life? On today’s episode, four-time New York Times bestselling author Gretchen Rubin joins us for a fun, insightful conversation. How do you turn feeling envy and lying into tools for our own growth?
Relationships for Happiness
There are two ways to achieve happiness, depending on the mental framework that you use. One of which is that to be happy, we need to have enduring, intimate bonds.
“Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists would agree that relationship is key to happiness.” – Gretchen Rubin
We have to feel like we belong, be able to confide a secret, get support, and give support. Anything that broadens or deepens our relationships is something that would make us happier. When we look at people who say they’re happier, they tend to have more relationships.
Self-knowledge is also Key
From a different vantage point, you can also say that the key to happiness is self-knowledge. We can build a happy life on the foundation of our own nature, interests, values, and temperament.
“It’s really by knowing ourselves that with this knowledge we can shape our lives to better reflect what is true for us.” – Gretchen Rubin
It should be fairly easy to know oneself when you hang out with yourself all day long, right? But the truth is that it’s not very easy at all. This stems from how we sometimes wish that we were different from who are or from how we are different from what other people expect or want us to be.
Envy and Lies are Helpful
Gretchen is keen on finding questions or indirect ways to help us understand ourselves better. For instance, whom do we envy? People don’t want to admit they feel it, but envy is actually helpful because it shows us what we wish we had.
Another question we must ask ourselves is, what do we lie about? Oftentimes when we lie, what we do doesn’t match up with what our value is and this is really important information to reflect on.
“The fact that you’re not being truthful about it means that somehow, you’re not comfortable with what your real answer is and that’s a sign—hey, maybe I need to get my actions and values into better harmony.” – Gretchen Rubin
To hear more about how we can achieve inner calm and peace from Gretchen, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Gretchen Rubin is a writer who relentlessly explores human nature to understand how we can make our lives better.
She believes there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for becoming happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative; when we know ourselves and what works for us, we can change our habits and our lives.
She’s the author of the bestselling books (The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies),
And she hosts the award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin,
The New York Times calls her “the queen of the self-help memoir.”
Links:
We hope you enjoyed Gretchen Rubin on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
028 Dorie Clark Reinvent You
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What exactly does reinventing yourself entail? Expert Dorie Clark joins us today for a conversation about designing one’s new identity, why social proof matters, and a lot more.
Winning Over the Team
To reinvent oneself means giving in to the want to go toward a certain direction. Once you figure this out, you also need to realize that a lot of the process is about winning over the internal team. Who you surround yourself with as you begin reinventing yourself matters a lot.
“Ironically in the reinvention journey, the people closest to you are gonna be the least supportive initially.” – Dorie Clark
People you’ve built relationships with are more tied to who you’ve been than you are. They come from a good place, not to mention that they have the most at stake in this reinvention. You need to develop a strategy to help them understand your intentions and see your determination.
The Power of Dormant Ties
Since reinvention involves established relationships with people, you must also grasp the concept of ties. These include strong, weak, and dormant ties. Dormant ties come from strong bonds shared with people who have gone off in directions completely separate to yours.
Dormant ties can be particularly powerful when rekindled, especially with the positive connection and thoughts that come with them. That you have some form of contribution to each other’s success makes it a lot easier when you reunite. With ties like so, you will find people to root for you in your process of reinvention.
Creation of Content
The other key component is proof that you can muster to support your new identity. People are skeptical, and you have to hammer it home that you are serious about them. This is where content creation around your new subject area comes into play.
“It’s a way of simultaneously demonstrating your expertise. It enables you to have a networking vehicle. It allows you to create these sustained reminders.” – Dorie Clark
To hear more about Dorie’s expert advice on reinvention, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Dorie Clark is “an expert at self-reinvention and helping others make changes in their lives,” says The New York Times. She’s an adjunct professor at Duke University and a bestselling author.
Her book, Stand Out, was named the #1 Leadership Book of 2015 by Inc. Magazine. She’s also a regular contributor to HBR.
Links:
We hope you enjoyed Dorie Clark on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
026 Fuck Hustle w/ Christopher Lochhead
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Why is hustle utter bullshit? On today’s episode, Christopher talks about the number one piece of entrepreneurial advice that most of us hear today. A topic that he’s written a blog for, Christopher shares seven reasons why we need to fuck hustle.
No Shit, Sherlock
Most entrepreneurial porn stars would pontificate the mentality that we need to hustle all day and every day. But “hustle” isn’t the most important word ever or a badge or wristband to show off. This evangelization of the idea that hustling is the way to go is dangerous and it needs to stop.
For one, hustle is a “No shit, Sherlock.” We all know that if you want to be successful in business or any other domain, you will need to work hard. We all heard of Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule, and success takes hard work.
“That’s why we respect people who achieve great things—because of the simple fact that they had to overcome stuff and do something that most people aren’t willing to do.” – Christopher Lochhead
You’re Not a Hamster
Second, hamsters can go round and round in a wheel all day long without going anywhere and be happy doing it. Some people confuse activity and results. And we need to ask ourselves an important question:
“Does the work I’m doing produce meaningful results produce value or am I just spinning my wheel?” – Christopher Lochhead
The most legendary people develop a sixth sense around things that are going to move the needle in the areas they care about. They evaluate whether the levers are going to move things forward. And they’re constantly figuring out what things they can use to leverage what they need to produce wanted results, as opposed to just spinning the wheel.
Work Smarter, Not Harder
Third, instead of hustling, entrepreneurs must preach working smarter. It’s pointless to work yourself into oblivion. It pays off to learn beyond what’s taught in school, and this includes horizontal income, which he talks about with Pat Hiban on a podcast episode.
“I like to say that horizontal income is money that can roll in while you’re laying down.” – Christopher Lochhead
To hear the four other reasons why we all need to stuff it and fuck hustle, download and listen to the episode.
Link:
Fuck Hustle: 7 Reasons Hustle is Bad Advice
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Fuck Hustle Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
023 Sex & Intimacy w/ Allana Pratt
How does an orgasm relate to the birth of a planet? Intimacy expert Allana Pratt joins us on this special episode. The podcaster slash author shares how she unlocked her sexuality, why sex is sacred, and why our sexual energy is key to a life lived happily.
From Nerdy to Naughty
Allana hadn’t always been the naughty, confident woman that she’s now known for. She started off as the nerdy, insecure girl who always felt out of place. Eventually, she hopped on her uncle’s 18-wheeler semi from British Columbia to Los Angeles to follow her dreams.
She moved to the States and has been a dancer since she was five, doing jazz, ballet, tap, and theater. And instead of taking over their family’s pharmacy, she moved to Tokyo. On her very first show, 19-year-old Allana had to wear a G-string and fishnet tights—something she has never done before.
Coming to Terms with Sexuality
She ought to have enjoyed the experience of her first Tokyo show. But at the time, she hadn’t figured out the sacredness of sexuality just yet. And neither did she own the power of her radiance.
“I believe that our sexual energy is life force energy.” – Allana Pratt
To Allana, a person’s sexual energy is the same energy that spins the planet, blossoms a flower, and creates the birth of a child. And the energy of an orgasm? It’s the very same energy that births a planet.
Beyond the Bedroom
At the core of it, sexual energy is as pure as everything else that makes the world what it is. It’s the root of existence itself within our bodies. When people learn to let go of all judgment to sexuality, they also learn to feel a lot more authentic and safe.
Many of Allana’s clients come to her with shame or guilt, thinking they’re weird or broken because of their sexual desires or the way they choose to have contact. This, she says, is the very reason why she loves to be that safe space for people. When people drop into their bodies and do the work to forgive themselves, there starts to be a buzz that will flow through all aspects of their day-to-day.
“Yes, sometimes the ‘deliciousness’ has a ‘bow chika bow wow’ energy, like a real sexual energy when we think of sensuality in the bedroom. But sometimes, this delicious energy is tenderness, care, healing, patience, listening.” – Allana Pratt
To hear about more on intimacy and relationships and what it means to have Queen Energy, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Intimacy expert Allana Pratt inspires open-hearted living with delicious sass. Featured on CBS, TLC & FOX, this cum laude graduate of Columbia University is the author of 3 books. She’s a coach to celebrities and the host of the sexy empowering show “Intimate Conversations LIVE”.
After working with thousands of men and women who struggle to open their hearts again in the aftermath of a harsh breakup, Allana helps them learn how to date again and find lasting love.
She inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature to attract all the love and attention they can handle. She heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’, and awakens their ‘noble badass’ so they can create hot, healthy intimate relationships.
Allana’s passionate devotion to helping men and women reclaim their joy, freedom and personal power is rooted in her own experience. Allana grew up insecure, ashamed of her body and afraid of men. She endured a brutal custody battle that threatened to compromise her joy, softness and feminine power.
Yet Allana sat in the fire embracing the experience as a spiritual teacher. She emerged more courageously vulnerable and radiantly loving than ever before.
Allana’s joy for life is contagious. She savors being a mother and pole dances for pleasure.
She challenges and inspires her clients to be unapologetically true to themselves and to bow in reverence to their exquisite spiritual and sexual nature.
Links:
AllanaPratt.com – Intimacy Expert for Men
We hope you enjoyed Allana Pratt on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
022 Legendary Marriage w/ Lance and Brandy Salazar
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On today’s special episode, we hear from a legendary married couple, Lance and Brandy Salazar. They co-authored Hal Elrod’s newest book, The Miracle Morning for Couples: Creating a legendary connection one morning at a time. They tell us about co-designing your life with your partner, coming back from the brink of divorce, and much more.
An Empty Sort of Happiness
Lance and Brandy’s married life was a lovely adventure before they had their kids. No one ever prepares enough for a life with young ones and that was when the kick-in happened for them. They had to provide for their growing family and keep “feeding the beast”.
With their priorities skewed, their mental fortitude deteriorated. They were overwhelmed and their marriage was falling apart. And the ultimate wake-up call to fix things was Brandy asking Lance to move out.
“We had all the great things that society told us apparently would buy us happiness or bring us happiness. And we had everything we needed and more… But our marriage sucked.” – Lance and Brandy Salazar
Defining Their Values
All these things led to a decision to design the life they wanted. In the process, they found out that they hadn’t defined their values. And so they sat down and mapped out all the things that they needed to achieve their dream life, and this included their home environment.
“It wasn’t until that designing part really came to fruition that we identified the fact that weren’t in the right town for us.” – Brandy Salazar
Having realized the environment as an important life aspect, it became a catalyst to define more of their values.
Byproducts of Life Design
Lance and Brandy realized the benefits of operating from a place where they knew their values and the things that bring them fulfillment and freedom. Once they defined the center of their world, everything else fell into place. And among these is their happy, healthier marriage.
To hear more about how Lance and Brandy created the relationship of their dreams, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Lance and Brandy Salazar are on a mission to help couples reconnect with each other and stay deeply in love while raising their daughters. They created “Legendary Couples with Kids” because they know firsthand how challenging it is to keep your marriage a priority while juggling careers and being parents.
They now know that it is possible to be more in love than ever before. Their story is common, but their method is not.
Four short years ago, they were nearly divorced. Having kids abruptly deprioritized their marriage, and they lacked deep intimacy and connection. They were disconnected, frustrated, unhappy, and they knew they weren’t modeling the marriage they wanted for their girls.
At the point of calling it quits, they made one last effort to save their relationship. This time, they tried something new. They took the best and most effective tools used by successful business and health coaches with proven positive psychology methods and applied these concepts to their marriage.
They stayed consistent with their commitments and made their vision a reality within a few short months. After almost 14 years of marriage and almost being divorced, they were now experiencing a remarkable level of connection, intimacy, and fun in their relationship.
Their results were so effective that they applied the same method and principles to their family and brought their daughters along on this journey with them.
So, in 2017 they quit their 20-year careers, sold their ‘dream home’, began homeschooling their daughters and have dedicated their efforts to this mission; helping Couples with Kids everywhere create the most amazing and Legendary relationships possible!
Links:
We hope you enjoyed Lance and Brandy Salazar on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
021 Q&A with Lochhead
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How do you know when to quit? Is there still a place for creative minds in the marketing industry? On today’s Q&A with Lochhead, Christopher answers these two questions sent by his listeners.
Category Leaders’ Share
Should you quit a company that’s starting to fail at the category king game? In writing Play Bigger, Christopher and his co-authors conducted a research project where they analyzed every venture-backed company found in Silicon Valley from 2000-2015. They tracked how these companies grew in value.
They looked into the data for an answer to an important question. What percentage of the market cap goes to the category leader? It turned out that the number was a whopping 76%.
Winner Takes All
In businesses today, there exists a winner takes all game. And you would want to be part of that company. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.
We learn so much by winning. There is also the halo effect that comes from being part of a legendary team, and these halos last forever. Christopher would know.
“The minute that you think your company can’t win the category king or queen game in your space, that’s when you need to start looking.” – Christopher Lochhead
When considering companies, you must also ask yourself these important questions: Can this company do product, company, and category design right? And can you make a contribution to that?
Creativity in Marketing
How about people who want to live off creative work in marketing? Is creativity still a fundamental asset in this landscape?
In business today, data and technicals are becoming increasingly important. Even so, creativity still comprises half the work in marketing, especially concerning new skills that companies require in new CMOs.
“Category design is now the number one skill that CEOs are looking for when they are recruiting new CMOs.” – Christopher Lochhead
To hear more about the role of creativity in the marketing landscape, download the listen to the episode.
Links:
Harvard Business Review Article – How Unicorns Grow
We hope you enjoyed this Q&A with Lochhead
019 Nice Guys Finish First w/ Matt Hanson
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Which should come first—lifestyle or career? On today’s episode, Matt Hanson shares the story of how he designed his life and business exactly the way he wanted. He also offers powerful insights into marriage, sales, relationships, and the joy of being a small e-entrepreneur.
Making Your Life Work
Matt made the decision as a young man to live the way he wanted. It was never easy, but his wife of 28 years has stayed by his side through every decision he made. This included committing to a life away from the city.
He didn’t want to live the way people did in the Bay Area. He also knew he wasn’t fit to be part of the rat race, so he headed to another direction. And now, he’s reaping the fruits of staying true to himself.
“The lifestyle certainly came first and figuring out a way to support the lifestyle kinda came second.” – Matt Hanson
Lifestyle First, Career Second
He then looked for ways to live by his lifestyle choice. Over time, he stumbled upon real estate, which has allowed him to continue his lifestyle while making a very good living. Matt says that this is the right way to approach life.
Matt likes walking into houses being built whenever he sees them. He also enjoyed the idea of houses and understanding whether they were designed right. And the more he saw, the more he learned just how unique each and every house is, in terms of layouts and proportions as well as marketability.
“Far and away, the majority of houses I walk into, I would never buy in a million years.” – Matt Hanson
Being Personal
Mike says that real estate, much like everything in life, is tougher than it looks. It is an emotional career choice. And Matt has figured out that sticking to formula wasn’t how he could stand out.
“I take the satisfaction, the closing, the fact that people are happy… I take it very personally.” – Matt Hanson
To hear more about why Matt’s mustache is a force to be reckoned with and how he found his voice in real estate, download and listen to the episode.
Bio:
Matt Hanson is a ski enthusiast, mountain lover, and realtor. His love for building houses came to be when he made the decision to move to Lake Tahoe. He was voted Realtor of the Year by his peers in North Lake Tahoe.
Links:
LinkedIn – Tahoe Truckee Homes
We hope you enjoyed Matt Hanson on this episode of Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
016 Startup Founders Mental Health
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On today’s episode, Christopher talks about a relevant TechCrunch article on startup founders mental health written by Jake Chapman. He also shares how he’s able to go through his own mental health concerns.
“Just like we can proactively design our life and our business, we can proactively design our mental health.” – Christopher Lochhead
Entrepreneurs and Founders: Mental Health
In a study by Michael Freeman, it is said that 50% of entrepreneurs are susceptible to a mental health condition. Some specific conditions are prevalent among young startup founders. These include depression, ADHD, substance abuse, bipolar disorder, psychiatric hospitalization, and suicidal thoughts.
Indeed, Aristotle once said that there’s no great genius without a touch of madness. While some of the wacky can help a person be creative, it’s also quite hard to deal with. To address this, there first needs to be mental health awareness within ourselves and also in our entrepreneurial leaders.
“The second thing I tried to do is to create a structure for myself and for my life that acknowledges who I am.” – Christopher Lochhead
Becoming Self-Aware
Christopher has personally gone through a lot of training and therapy to become a self-actualized person. He trained himself to increase his self-awareness. He used his own intelligence to manage his emotions and prevent them from getting the best of him.
“Even if I’m feeling really shitty, at least in some level, I know that this is an overreaction and that this, too, will pass.” – Christopher Lochhead
Getting Help from People
He also surrounds himself with people who know and love him for who he is. When he’s in a dark place, they know how to support him and love him through it. Most importantly, they know when to stop putting up with it and give him a nudge whenever he wallows in his self-pity for too long.
Professional help, of course, is always an option and nothing to be ashamed of.
To hear Christopher Lochhead share more insights into mental health, download and listen to the episode.
Links:
Investors and entrepreneurs need to address the mental health crisis in startups
Entrepreneurs Touched with Fire
Suicide Prevention Lifeline Chat
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Follow Your Different™ on Startup Founders Mental Health! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and subscribe on iTunes!
