In this episode of Follow Your Different, let’s have a very different dialogue about Sex.
It seems like we might be living at a time where the very category of sex is changing, and there are a few megatrends going on.
First, we seem to be in what The Atlantic calls a “sexual recession”. The Atlantic reports: “In the space of a generation, sex has gone from something most high school students have experienced to something most haven’t.”
It turns out that people in their early 20s are two and a half times as likely to be abstinent. Though it’s not only limited to the younger generation. Even Gen Xers and Baby Boomers are having less traditional sex over the years.
The second one is about increased loneliness. According to the HBR, rates of loneliness in the US have doubled over the past 50 years. Nowadays, around 40% of Americans say that they are lonely.
The third is about Digital Sex. It has been reported that the porn industry is now worth nearly $100 billion, and uses more bandwidth than Facebook, Amazon, or Netflix.
It seems that porn continues to reach new heights with the advent of new technologies and categories:
- In 2018, a Japanese man spent 2 million Yen on his wedding to an AI hologram.
- Toronto has opened a new category in the form of Sex Doll Brothels.
- OnlyFans has seen a spike of creators and registered users since Covid, who are mostly there for adult content.
- AR and VR sex is on the rise
We talk about all this and more with our guests, Amy Baldwin and April Lampert of the Shameless Sex Podcast. They are here for a fascinating, no-holds-barred dialogue about Sex. This is a very frank, descriptive, and dare I say deep conversation.
Amy and April talk about the current state of sex education in the US. To most families, sex is not a topic that they are comfortable talking with their children. Though there are schools that have sex education classes, it mostly consists of anatomy and topics about abstinence. Most young adults tend to learn on their own, either through their friends, from experience, or from porn.
While they do not shun consumption of porn, both think that porn should not be used as an educational tool.
“I think it really depends on where you’re growing up. Luckily, we have the internet now. But like April said, there’s porn, and we are not anti porn. We are anti porn as a sex educator, unless it’s educational pornography.” – Amy Baldwin
They believe this is where they come in, to correct misconceptions brought about by bad information or unrealistic expectations people get from hearing stories or watching porn.
Shameless Sex Podcast
When asked about how open they were when talking on their podcast, Amy shares that they didn’t begin like that. While they do talk boldly and bravely about sexuality in their podcast, it wasn’t the case when they were younger.
They also believe that we can all talk boldly about sex if we want to.
“I believe we all can speak really openly and boldly about sexuality. Just like with anything, if we practice enough and we want to, (but) not everyone needs to speak the way we do.” – Amy Baldwin
“It’s normalizing the conversation around sex. I think someone Emily Morris was specifically saying this treating another podcaster in sexuality, she was saying she wants to normalize sex so we can talk about it like it’s the weather and I think we do the same thing.” – April Lampert
In the topic of relationships, it is weird how rather than sitting down and talking about it, we just end up having to guess each other’s desires and objectives as we go along. April thinks that it’s because we find it easier to point out what we don’t like rather than honing in on the things we do.
“In my opinion, and I know from my experience throughout the course of my life, I was always talking about what I didn’t want. I noticed that when I when I speak to folks, they are really great about ‘I don’t want this’ or ‘I don’t want to fight.’ ‘I don’t want to feel isolated in my relationship.’ I’m like, so what do you what do you want, then?” – April Lampert
Amy shares that we have been taught and conditioned to believe that sex should be spontaneous. That couples shouldn’t talk about it; we should just let it happen. While spontaneous sex is great, Amy believes that you should have a plan for intimacy.
“So I think that people are taught and this is conditioning. It’s what’s hot is spontaneity. It’s just supposed to magically happen. We’re supposed to know everything. We shouldn’t have to have these conversations, when in fact, that’s bullshit. That’s really, really the magic and these conversations can feel really good.” – Amy Baldwin
To hear more from Amy Baldwin and April Lampert, the Shameless Sex podcast, and more of their insights regarding relationships and intimacy during this time of isolation, download and listen to this episode.
Amy Baldwin is a Sex and Relationship Coach trained in both the Somatica® and Hakomi Method, Certified Sex Educator, lead educator for Uberlube, as well as co-owner of a mother-daughter owned online pleasure boutique called Pure Pleasure Shop. Amy has a passion for promoting shame-free, pleasure-focused sexuality education while emphasizing the deep emotional and energetic forces behind great sex and intimate connection, offering everything from private sessions to how-to workshops to erotic empowerment retreats.
April Lampert has been educating people about sexual pleasure, health and wellness, and pleasure products at a global scale since 2008. She travels internationally as VP of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company. April was voted Woman of the Year in the adult industry in 2016, and has dedicated her life to the business of sex and pleasure.
Together, Amy and April combined forces to create the Shameless Sex Podcast, inspiring radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy. Shameless Sex is unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist. Amy and April are not afraid to tell it like it is and invite you to join the SHAMELESS SEX REVOLUTION!
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